Conversely, the preteen will cause your mother worry scale to sky rocket. She will be starting school and exposed to a lot of things that you can no longer control. You will worry that she has “good” teachers and whether she can make simple decisions on her own. Her ability to make and be a good friend will be as important to you as to her. You will worry if she is unhappy if left out of certain activities and may push her to be more outgoing than she is comfortable with. The over scheduled child is as likely to have stress related health problems as a stressed out adult is. The irrational fear that you child is not “popular” may cause you to put more emphasis upon problems that the child would likely ignore if left alone. Rationally you may worry if at this stage she tends to put on baby fat that her health may suffer later if she can’t control it. The irrational fear that she may be picked on because of a weight problem may also rear its head. Unfortunately this can be a real problem and cause self esteem issues later on in life. As a result of these fears, it is important that you don’t project your insecurities to your preteen. She is developing both physically and emotionally into that creature known as a TEENAGER.
The teenage years will generally leave you wondering how any of them make it out alive. While you worry that peer pressure may put them in danger of smoking, drinking or even pregnancy, you must face the very real danger of her being a new driver. At this time you must trust that the morals the church and you have taught her have taken root and extend the trust to her to do what is right. While rationally worrying that she will have the grades to get in a good college, irrationally any time she is thirty minutes late, you will picture her car in a ditch. Teenage years are fraught with every worry that you have had up to this stage multiplied tenfold. For this reason it is best to count to ten before having any conversation with a teenager, because a simple question can lead to WWIII in the blink of an eye. The golden rule to knowing your teen is communication. Listen to your teen as well as get her to talk to you. A lot of things that you may worry about, both rational and irrational can be avoided if you take the time to really communicate with them.
Communication will be especially important in curtailing your fears as your teen becomes a young adult and moves away from home to college. The rational fears every time she takes the road to travel back and forth on holidays will quickly be replaced by the irrational ones. You will worry that she will try to live off of fast food while never touching a green vegetable for months on end. The fear that they will be in physical peril on campus is much higher if your young adult is a female rather than a male. If a male, you worry that they will not bath except when absolutely necessary and will get several days usage out of any and all clothes. One of the biggest worries is that they could meet the person of their dreams, fall madly in love and move away to California or New York
Finally, and certainly not the least the adult emerges from the cocoon and you hope that the fears and worries will subside also. This is not to be however. You now worry that they get a good job and have a good marriage. Rationally you know that thanks to God and your nagging they have made it this far. Your fears may subside for a short while but as soon as you are told the great news that your baby is expecting a baby they kick back in again full speed ahead. Now not only do you worry about them surviving pregnancy and birth, you have a whole new generation to turn your worries to.
One thing you realize is that a lot of your fears were irrational and did not come to fruit. To a certain extent, they didn’t change as much as you once would have thought they would have. Basic worries about health remained the same from before birth till an adult. Only the irrational fears seemed to vary a lot and worries were based more on outside influences rather than things you could control. You think you had fears and worries with your children, just wait till you get that grandbaby in your arms. They ain’t seen nothing yet.
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