How do we convince ourselves we deserve happiness?
Genre: New Adult Romance
Publication Date: January 7, 2016
Series: All the Colors #2
Nate knew a life of colour when he had Stella by his side.
Now she's gone, her life cut short, he sinks deep into darkness when he discovers who is responsible.
He leaves town and leads a quiet life keeping to himself, not feeling he deserves anything more than just merely existing, in all the darkness.
Edie is trapped in her life, made prisoner by those who are meant to love and protect her.
She is drowning in a quicksand she can't breathe in. She's lost her voice, her strength, her self-esteem.
When these two cross paths, they'll both wonder if they deserve happiness. Can they make their way out of the darkness and to happiness with each other?
How do we convince ourselves we deserve happiness? How do we live with the dark acts we have committed?
All the Darkness explores the parts of our minds
we try to keep hidden, even from ourselves.
She wriggles underneath me while I tickle her sides. Tickling Edie is worth it just to hear the sound of her rich laughter and I get to touch her without preamble, even though this is the sole time I have attempted it. I wish I had done it before now. Her shirt has ridden up ever so slightly and my fingers graze her warm skin lightly. I suppress a groan.
This woman is killing me.
She starts to make a choking noise and I back off, only with my hands. I'm not moving away from her. Not yet.
"How did that happen?" she asks once she has some air circulating back into her lungs.
"You took the last corn chip. That's not on," I say seriously but she laughs anyway.
I've come to rely on our hang outs. I don't know what I'd do without her now. We do this every weekend. Even during the week.
We are like a couple. A couple that doesn't touch.
Except for now.
My skin is on fire. My heart beats rapidly in my eardrums.
The smile slowly vanishes from her face and she swallows audibly.
"Nate . . ." She says my name on a whisper and I close my eyes against the sound.
It does something to me.
Hearing my name said like that—like I make her breathless—coming from those full, ruby lips.
It does things to me I'm not sure I want to experience again. Caring makes you vulnerable. Love brings heartache. But now that it's started, I'm powerless to stop it. I'm not even sure I want to anymore.
Her hot fingertips are against me, digging into my skin.
"Fuck." Before I can think up any words to follow, I lower my head and gently press my lips against hers. She shudders beneath me, her lips move against mine tentatively before she opens her mouth to grant me further access.
The moment my tongue touches hers; tingles shoot from my hair right down to my toes. My hands find hers and I loop my fingers through the spaces between her fingers. She whimpers and it undoes me.
This girl fucking undoes me.
She deserves to be cherished and protected.
It isn't fair on her to flee one scumbag only to end up with another.
I pull myself away from her, even when every damn part of me screams in protest and I stand, backing away.
She looks dazed, then confused. Confusion drains away slowly and then her face is drowning with hurt.
I look at her. I take every inch of her in. I see her beautiful soul beyond her watery eyes and I shake. I shake for her and I shake for me.
"I'm not a good man Edie," I confess. Hating the way the words feel coming out of my mouth but knowing I owe it to her to be honest. "The stains run deep."